Yes, that is our basement. Yes, the water is up to Kelsey's ankle.
Every so often, I write a "Bad at ______" post in which I talk about how ill-equipped I am for basic real-world struggles, because I think it's funny how bad I am at being a human. The thing is, lots of people are bad at being human, because the concept of being a good human is based on a perfect vision of humanity. A good human pays the bills on time, eats balanced meals, has healthy spending habits, doesn't cry over things like "the puppies are such good girls and are too perfect and pure for this world," etc.
Nobody hits all the "good human" marks all the time. If you know someone who does, then they're an android, and it's your civic responsibility to turn them over to the authorities before they can achieve their sinister goals.
An English teacher I had in high school loaned me a life motto that I didn't understand at the time but have come to embrace so completely that the words have likely embedded themselves in my DNA and will be passed to my offspring whenever Kelsey and I have the money, emotional stability, and tolerance for human feces required for child-rearing. (That English teacher would NOT have approved of the previous sentence.) The motto is:
Fake it 'til you make it.
The best part about that mantra is that everybody uses it. We're all a bunch of fakers, doing some human things right ("I paid the gas bill this month despite it increasing by almost $100 from last month!") but doing other human things wrong ("I had a panic attack because an adult was mildly disappointed in me and so I made a giant plate of nachos for myself to soothe my nerves!"). Sometimes we hit somewhere right in-between ("Our basement flooded and instead of falling face-down in the water and waiting for the devil to take my soul I dealt with a plumber, didn't cry in front of him, and then drank a celebratory Manhattan instead of checking on the damage to the basement right away!").
We're all playing the same game. We're pretending to be grownups, and in the process, we are grownups. We'll never be the perfect human. But we'll be pretty much good humans, who pretty much go to the dentist sometimes, and pretty much know how to file our taxes. It's OK to be bad at stuff.
This post has been brought to you by: "I need to justify why I stink at adulthood," "Please laugh at me; it's how I determine my self-worth," and Doc Hudson, the Actual Best.
