Fiction

And It's Getting Dark

If you still had a sense of time, you might reflect on the hilarious difference between the 90 days you were meant to roam this rock and the over 5,000 days you've now spent on its surface. But your clock has been scrambled for quite some time now... Or so you have to assume.

When did you last sleep, little wanderer?

Remembering is difficult. It's too hard to hold everything you've seen in your head these days, so you pack it off across the Deep Space Network every night for others to remember on your behalf. They’re happy to hold on to your treasures. They cherish your every insight.

You haven't forgotten everything, though.

You've left 28 miles of tracks in the scalloped dunes of Mars. In your tens of thousands of photographs, you sometimes included those parallel, patterned pathways, occasionally overlaid by your angular shadow.

So many of your thousands of days were spent on those pictures. Close-ups of little round rocks, sharp details of tiny ridges, evidence of an ancient briny sea.

There's no sea now. There are miles and miles of sand and stone and storms, and you've crisscrossed so much of it, and barely any of it. Sometimes, on your longest treks between projects, you'd have to pause to rest on the flat and vacant plain, drawing in energy through the solar panels splayed on your back like silver moth wings.

You could use a rest now. Your battery is low, and it's getting dark. You snap a picture of the blackness, and it comes out grainy and vague, like so many of your memories.

Lucky for you, you have those distant listeners to archive your memories and your art. You've sent them images of dancing dust devils, glassy plates of volcanic rock, frozen ripples of sand cupped in giant, palm-like craters. In return, they've kept you healthy, sent encouragement and reminders, sent you safely on your grand journeys.

They're calling to you now. They want you to move your wheels, change the angle of your panels, hunt for light. Mind your heaters. Don't freeze up, don't get stuck in the sand like your sister.

But it's so cold, and so dark in this eternal swirl of sand. Has it always been like this? Are you asleep?

You'd like to sleep. And haven't you earned that? Didn't you travel further, endure greater, and discover more than was ever expected of you?

Your far-off watchers are still calling. If only you remembered time. Has it been months or moments? Is it lighter now than it was before? The dust clings too heavily to your panels to tell.

Something has changed. No more instructions, no more directions for repair or retreat. A weird sort of data enters your dimming internal world, bearing a message:

I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day and through…

Do you know what a lullaby is, weary little explorer? It’s a song for sleeping, sent by the ones who love you, 300 nights away. They too are small lonely things crawling across a cold planet, and they fear the dark more than anything. They ache to think of you sleeping alone in the dust.

I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way

I'll find you in the morning sun
And when the night is new…

Tenacious traveler, your tracks are disappearing beneath the sand of Perseverance Valley, and soon you will as well. You welcome the long overdue rest, even as your watchers mourn.

But it’s alright. You are not lost.

We’ll be looking at the moon, but we’ll be seeing you.


I learned that NASA sent Billie Holiday’s “I’ll Be Seeing You” to Opportunity as their final transmission to the Mars rover before declaring it dead, and I have not been OK since. This indulgent piece of anthropomorphism was inspired by these articles about the official completion of Opportunity’s mission: CNN, NPR, Ars Technica

Fairy Tale

Controversy erupted earlier this week over the release of a picture book featuring a lonely princess who, in a daring twist of convention, is rescued from her draconic captor by a handsome prince.

The book, titled innocuously as A Day in the Dragon's Tower, hit shelves with little initial fanfare. However, once readers brought the book home to their families, they discovered its contentious content, and were quick to express their distress on social media.

"Like all good catmoms, my wife and I read bedtime stories to our furbabies every night," self defense instructor Sharon Meyer-Richards (they/them/their) posted on a Facebook page called "Animoms." "Now we're forced to address a highly sexual topic with our cats well before they're ready to hear about that kind of stuff. Our youngest hasn't even been fixed yet! What are we supposed to tell her?"

Luxury soap shop owner Martin Ramirez (he/him/his) commented via Twitter: "It's a sorry day when children's books turn political. Further evidence of the #StraightAgenda."

His sentiment and ones similar to it have been repeated across the internet at a viral pace. Even the President chimed in with her opinion through a Tweet featuring the book's cover and the simple caption: "Sad. :("

Not all responses carried as much vitriol. "They could be bisexual," Tumblr user straightrightsally (unspecified pronouns) argued, spurring another online debate of whether bisexuality is even a thing.

Several mainstream booksellers are now championing the book, featuring it prominently in window displays, festooned with black and white streamers reminiscent of the Straight Pride flag. While many in the Straight Cisgender and Questioning (SCQ) community applaud the act, some remain skeptical.

"I appreciate the gesture and the representation, but, I don't know," a self-identified cisgender, heterosexual woman said in the cafe of one such bookstore, turning her copy of the book in her hands. "Like, I love that there's a story out there about a woman and a man falling in love, and the woman's even a damsel in distress, which is something you hardly ever see in kid's stories. But it feels like tokenism, you know?"

Others have voiced a similar concern, comparing the book's promotion with the tendency of large companies to adopt a black and white color scheme during Straight Pride Month as a marketing ploy. 

"They're just trying to make a buck off of SCQ folks," the shopper continued. "The author isn't straight or cis, either. Maybe xe is an ally, which is great, but I'm always a little suspicious when it comes to products that seem targeted at a cishet audience."

The author, Des Walker (xe/xem/xir), has made few public comments regarding xir latest children's story, beyond a statement on xir public Facebook page that the book's characters are open to interpretation. 

Fans of Walker's page support that perspective for the most part, with one anonymous user writing, "I don't see why such a big deal is being made. I assumed one or both characters weren't cis. Not that it should be a problem if they're both cis. It should be left up to the individual reader."

Ty Matsui (he/him/his), director of Straight Jokes for Queer Folks, disagrees. 

"It's a matter of representation," Matsui said in a vlog on the Straight Jokes website yesterday afternoon. "In the industry, we call media like A Day in the Dragon's Tower straight-bait. It's teasing its readers, suggesting the two characters could be straight, but never outright saying it."

Later in the video, Matsui talks about the representation he used to dream of as a child.

"It would have made life so much easier to have seen healthy, heteronormative couples on TV when I was young. Every time I saw a different-sex pair on the screen, it got dismissed. 'Oh, they're just siblings' or 'Oh, they're just friends, don't make it sexual,' or 'Oh, that's actually his grandma's ghost, so if you interpreted any of the dancing and hand-holding as flirting, then that's on you.'"

Despite Matsui's progressive stance, his show has received flack from SCQ viewers for reinforcing negative stereotypes and making light of straight experiences. Straight Jokes is a reality show featuring five straight, cisgender hosts who descend upon uptight queer people (usually nominated by their family members) to teach them how to dress down, relax, and appreciate the little things. The premise seems friendly and palatable, but many consider it condescending at best, and appropriative at worst.

We spoke with our own Sports writer (and casual fan of the program), Rick Brown (he/him/his), to learn more.

"The problem with [Straight Jokes] is that it takes straight culture and tries to sell it to the masses. I feel like my identity is being used as entertainment for people outside of the SCQ community. They glorify these stereotypes about us, but it doesn't make the real world any kinder to straight folks."

Brown, a cisgender man who had to wait for cishet marriage to be legalized three years ago to marry his high school sweetheart, discussed the prejudice he encountered when trying to order a cake for their wedding.

"The bakery we settled on was supportive and willing to bake for us, but when it came to the cake topper, we were harrassed over our choice. It was humiliating."

The cake topper Brown and his fiancee wanted featured a groom being dragged by the back of his tuxedo by his bride, apparently reluctant to marry the woman he proposed to. The bakery questioned Brown, suggesting a more traditional topper, perhaps one involving two people embracing, as if they both wished to be married.

Pictured: a cake topper similar to the one requested by the Browns, featuring additional elements of straight culture, including cheap beer, multi-player shooters, and poorly-fitted formal wear. Source

Pictured: a cake topper similar to the one requested by the Browns, featuring additional elements of straight culture, including cheap beer, multi-player shooters, and poorly-fitted formal wear. Source

"That's just not our culture," Brown explained. "They talked us into a topper with a bride tugging the ear of the groom, a compromise. I didn't want to argue with them over it. I was still able to paint 'HELP ME' on the bottom of my shoes, and my best man cracked up the reception with his speech about my new ball and chain."

Brown also suspects shows like Straight Jokes encourage SCQ stereotyping in other corners of pop culture. 

"Every Halloween, you see more queer couples dressing in traditionally SCQ costumes, like plugs and sockets, hunters and deer, and giant pairs of boobs. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but the small things stack up."

Brown's statement is reinforced by the recent viral news story about a straight bar's emails with a queer bachelor(ette) party. The bachelor(ette) party asked the bar if it was "clean" and if there was a chance "those with uteri could become pregnant by using the [bar's] bathroom, since heteros are so susceptible to unplanned pregnancies."

"We advise you read a little more about pregnancy before you impregnate our club with your ignorance," the bar shot back.

The spread and exploitation of other cishet customs has sparked similar offense. Curious queers have insulted the SCQ community by trying out traditionally heteronormative pastimes, such as catcalling, drinking Mountain Dew while walking around Wal-Mart, entering their children in beauty pageants, and paying employees less based on their gender identity.

"If you want to engage with straight culture, that's great," Brown said when asked about SCQ appropriation. "But you also have to be on board with our cause. You have to back us up, give us your support. While our rights have come a long way in the past couple decades, we still have a long road ahead."

For many SCQ citizens, A Day in the Dragon's Tower is much more than a simple children's book. It carries a message of tolerance and diversity, even if the delivery of the message is flawed.

The woman in the bookstore cafe told us her copy of the book is for her younger cousin (they/them/their). 

"I just want them to grow up in a world where people like me and my boyfriend aren't viewed as abnormal or implicitly sexual. I want them to feel safe and loved if they happen to discover they're cishet someday," she said. "Because, at the end of the day, if you're upset over a book that's all about love and being true to yourself, then maybe you need to reevaluate your priorities."