Like so many other overly optimistic couples this Christmas, Kelsey and I acquired Fitbits with the intention of getting in shape for our November wedding. So far, I've made use of mine by lying about my calorie intake and trying to look cool by pushing up my sleeve in public to check my step count.
These guilt-tripping pieces of tech are actually pretty useful, if you use them right. They track your sleep, calories burned, miles walked, active minutes, weight, all the stuff someone trying to be more aware of their health needs. And it's not just your own health you can monitor. If you have friends using the app that goes with the Fitbit watch, you can look at their accomplishments (you get badges for meeting challenge goals, like hitting 10,000 steps or losing a certain amount of weight). This feature opened my eyes to the reality of Kelsey's daily life.
Let me start with my own typical stats. Working in a wealth management office, I get maybe 6,000 steps in on a good day. I only work at the office for half the day, and the rest of the day is for my own errands and hobbies. I sleep about 5 hours a night, which is not by my preference, as I could be an Olympic sleeper if such a sport existed. I stay up so I can see Kelsey for a couple hours every day.
Kelsey gets up about the same time as I do, around 7:30 or so in the morning. While I drive 10 minutes to get to my office, she drives 30 to get downtown, where she parks in a lot she pays for every month and walks another 15 minutes (regardless of weather) to reach her unpaid 40-hour-a-week internship with the Indiana Repertory Theater. After working a full day there, walking all over the theater, up and down narrow stairs, across catwalks, she walks 15 minutes back to her car and drives 30 to 45 minutes to her next job, the only type of job that someone who already works full time with sometimes unusual hours can reasonably hold.
Job #2, Marco's Pizza, where she is wildly overqualified and wildly underpaid. Where her coworkers don't care and she shouldn't have the energy to care either. Where customers regularly stiff her on tips when she delivers (at a rate under minimum wage, at her own expense for gas and maintenance on her overworked car). At least she's rising through the ranks, but that means a less flexible schedule, so less free time for her.
When she comes home at about 1 in the morning from a 16 hour day, her Fitbit lets me know that she takes an average of 16,000 steps every day. She's had the Fitbit for less than 2 weeks, and in that time, she's walked 26 miles with it on. I walk 4,000 steps a day on average. She walks 4 times farther than I do. She works 4 times longer than I do.
She eats an absurdly late dinner, we try to relax with a show or a game, and then it's time to squeeze in those 5 hours of sleep. If you can call it sleep. The Fitbit tracks the time she spends awake and restless. While I'm sleeping like I've been given horse tranquilizer, she's next to me tossing and turning, losing around 45 minutes of sleep a night.
It's no wonder she sleeps like she's being tased every half hour. Her car is in constant need of repairs that she doesn't have the time or money for, loans are looming above her like a cartoon anvil hanging by a fraying thread, she still has another giant internship to complete to get her degree (that you can bet will be unpaid, because if there are thousands of near-graduates with a 6 month internship requirement flooding the market and fighting for positions, there's no reason to bother paying them)... the list could wrap around the world.
If we weren't living together with our third roommate (the marvelous Cade, who is also underemployed and underpaid and watching her student loans fall toward her neck guillotine-style), we wouldn't be able to live on our own, making car and rent payments, keeping the lights on and the fridge stocked. And we're lucky to have that. We are luckier than millions in our generation. The jobs that we were told would be there for us after college don't exist in numbers substantial enough to support us, and the jobs that are there misuse our skills and leave us with too little money to pay back the massive loans required for an education that seems increasingly pointless. How can we be expected to invest or innovate when we have no funding and no time?
The truth is, you have to be a superhero to find a place in this market. Kelsey and Cade are two of the hardest working, brightest, and most caring humans I know. They care about their work when their work doesn't care back. They work themselves to the bone just to scrape by (it's only recently that Cade's workday has been shortened from Kelsey's, and during that time, she had to survive on food stamps and personal loans). Their spectacular minds aren't given the time or energy to reach their full potential.
And you know what? They tip. I've seen Cade tip over 100% on a meal she can't afford. They help friends and strangers in need, providing rides to work, picking up extra hours. They actively strive to improve the quality and efficiency of their work. Kelsey is overflowing with ways to improve her store, and is frustrated by the lack of passion (or competence) of her coworkers, and the broken system of store management that I fully believe she can fix.
These people are superheroes battling a vicious job market, an increasingly split socioeconomic environment, and an education system that's wringing them for all they've got. When you shout at a kid who made your coffee drink different from how you wanted, it's one of them you're shouting at, and they've been dealing with jerks like you all day, and on only a few hours of sleep. The lazy pizza delivery guy stereotype? Your delivery person may in fact be working their second job, missing the turning of the new year with their friends and family so you can order your pizza at the last minute.
Even living with these heroes, it's taken me a while to understand just how difficult their fight is. I'm privileged beyond belief. I didn't pay for my education. It was given to me. I've never worked a true service job, and the closest thing I've had to it was a relatively cushy office job with a 401K and paid vacations.
Please appreciate the superheroes in your life. They're fighting for an American dream that no longer exists, but somehow, they're still the kindest, most driven people I know. If you have the opportunity to hire one of these people, don't throw out their resumes because they don't have the experience. Give them that experience, and they will give you something incredible back.
